Love Or Lust

Submission.

After this three month challenge, I’m going to fucking ruin Korean BBQ places, Sushi, Buffalo Wild Wings, froyo and fried fucking chicken. 

I hate when my coworkers day “It’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle.” 

Well hand me some of that fucking horrible food cause I’m so hungryyyyyyyyyyyy.

Dirty. Men. Be real with yourself. (not all men, hopefully)

January 24th, 2012

So heading to the gym. Decided to see my old buddy Mrs. Choi at the asian supermarket who owns a flower shop. Talked to her for a good hour and was headed off to the gym at 9:30pm. As I walk down a couple stores, this lady is parked on the side bumping Wale’s “Lotus Flower Bomb”. When I get to the gym door, this guy was just standing there holding the door. 

Him: “Damn, just that song playing as soon as you walk by…”

Me: “Thanks (heading towards 2nd entrance door)”

Him: “I’m Stephen by the way.”

Me: “Nice to meet you, see you around.”

January 25th, 2012

Take a break from gym.

January 26th, 2012.

Finished my 20 min cardio on the treadmill. Headed towards the free weights to work on triceps and chest. As I evaluate what spots are open to lift, this dude turns around and turns out to be Stephen. Wasn’t too sure it was him but go figures, he noticed me. We get into the convo, hey whats up. Normal shit. He asks if I have a boyfriend. Of course I do. He says well, I’m gonna respect that you have a man and let you get to your workout. I respect that he would do that and just let it be. Guess not. He asked if we can be friends, doesn’t have to be about dating. Like really dude? You were all about getting to know me, don’t play me stupid. Asks for my number. I told him its good enough to be seeing him around the gym but hes not getting my number. Still, he continued working out every now and then giving me smiles. Pretty much following me around until he was done his workout. Yet, my mind doesn’t change. I love my boyfriend and it is what it is. I just hope people would be more respectful to other peoples relationships. Go find another single person out there who is probably trying to homewreck somewhere else. Lord, people on this earth. 

Anyways, just wanted to air out my brain about my gym experience since I just started working out again since the 21st. So far on my diet and exercise, I’ve lost 10 lbs in 7 days. How awesome. I’m so excited for these next three months. G’night tumblr & dear followers. <3

Ugh, back to work

the things i’d do to be back in school…

Tired leads to over thinking.

• Being told that I’m skinny enough.
• Being told my boyfriend is lucky to have me.
• Being told I can go far in life.
• Being selfish.
• Being told I do a good job with what I do.
• Being told there’s nothing they can do but listen.
• Being told I’m irresponsible.
• Being told what to do.
• Not being trusted.
• Fear of not being loved.

I’ve struggled with weight my entire light ranging from 110-150 lbs. 

I’ve dated more than enough guys yet have not met one who’s just as crazy to be with me as I feel about him. Yet dating all these guys just to find the one I want to spend the rest of my life with is wrong? Just because you “date” doesn’t mean you fuck all the time. Yet, always ends up looking like I bounce from relationship to relationship when in reality I move on when someone’s not worth the time and effort.

Yes, I can go far in life if people didn’t take advantage of me and being as kindhearted as I am, I give in.

W/ being selfish, see above. (:

Working hard enough every day and not getting credit for the amount of work I do put in. When did money control people and how they feel about someone.

There’s ALWAYS something you can do to help someone even if it’s just a hug or being assured you’ll always be there to listen.

I’m irresponsible? Last time I checked, when you’re 19, you expect to be in college as a full time student just enjoying college life where you’re parents pay for classes or financial aid comes handy. Sorry, I work full time and I pay bills and it gets overwhelming at times and my parents don’t give two shits.

I’m more than mature for my age and I’m pretty sure I don’t need someone to watch over my shoulder for every move that I make. I can handle myself.

I really believe, no one loves me. & truly believe that people only care when you’re six feet under ground. Only then, it’s just too fucking late. As many suicides that hit my heart, I’ve tried to be strong and not let myself follow that path. Something I will NEVER forget and be able to live if I just decided to blow it off.

Keep telling myself after a days of work,

I just wan’t to go home, take a nice warm bath, roll into a clean bed & fall asleep. But there’s always that one thing that seems to ruin the night. 

Arguing with someone when they’re really trying to help you out because they truly love you.